January 2, 2013
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More Anger
I’m angry that I am 22 and I am no where near where I wanted to be in my life at this age.
I’m angry at the BFX for everything he has done to me.
I’m angry at someone who is being selfish and in doing so is going to hurt someone I care about a lot.
I’m angry that the someone I care about won’t listen to us when we try to warn him that she’s being awful.
I’m angry that I’m still not over the BFX. I really should be.
I’m angry that I can’t motivate myself to do fucking anything, including and especially things that would really make my life more enjoyable.
I’m angry that I don’t really even care about my life getting better anymore.
I’m angry at people who think they understand me. Even if they are just trying to help.
I’m angry that I am constantly bringing people down around me because I can’t stop being depressed.
I’m angry that I can’t be not anxious for 5 fucking minutes… that literally everything gives me anxiety for some stupid reason.
I’m angry that I can’t just be ok.
I’m angry that I can’t just do what I need to do to become ok.
I’m angry that it is so easy for me to say “he isn’t worth it anymore” but deep down I still don’t believe it.
I’m angry that I have a college degree but I don’t feel qualified to do anything.
I’m angry at everything. I’m angry at nothing at all. I’m angry at everyone. I’m angry at myself. I’m angry with the world. But I don’t blame anyone, including me.
I’m angry that I don’t understand why I am so goddamn fucked up.
