February 6, 2013
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Developmental Psych Class Revelation
This morning in developmental psychology we were discussing Eric Erikson’s (mean parents right there) stages of psychosocial development. Basically, in adolescent years, one must find their identity, and only after they find their identity can they fully commit to something or someone in early adulthood (marriage, career, etc). Now, I have always been very sure of myself growing up. Despite constant bullying and a lot of self-hate, I knew who I was, what I wanted out of life, and the type of person I wanted to be. That allowed me to form strong committed relationships and long-term life plans before most of my peers possessed the same ability (by the age of 16 I had already been in a 3 year relationship and I pretty much had my life planned out).
However, I feel as though I have regressed. After JC broke up with me, I got very lost. My plans all went out the window and I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life anymore. My priorities, which were once very clear to me, seemed jumbled and confused. Nevertheless, I chugged on with my life in a similar fashion, believing that I was still the same person with the same wants, needs, and desires that I had always had. But now, after the whole BFX drama, I know that that is not the case. I refuse to commit to plans more than a week or two away, I refuse to commit to a career (and I’m 22), and I refuse to commit to people. I went from being very advanced to very behind in my psychosocial development because the events in my life forced me to reevaluate my identity – I had to move backwards.
I raised my hand in class as I was making these realizations and asked the general hypothetical of whether adults suffering from an identity crisis had actually moved back or if they had just halted – my professor said that in some cases they had never fully resolved their identity, or they resolved their identity in a way to make someone else happy but that didn’t make themselves happy, so any commitments become shaky; in other cases, it is a mid-life crisis, which is part of the middle adulthood stage of wanting to leave something behind for the next generation. Neither of those answered my question, but the first answer did lead me to the conclusion that a traumatic or life-altering event (getting fired from a job you love, a divorce, a falling out with someone important to you, a big move, etc) could force you to reevaluate your identity just as much as the first scenario my teacher presented.
Regardless, I have regressed to the psychosocial development of a teenager, when I spent the majority of my teenage years in the young adult stage of development. And even better, I have no desire to figure it out and move forward again any time soon. I already know that it isn’t all its cracked up to be.
