February 9, 2013
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Winter Storm Nemo
Thursday night, the BFX (who officially needs yet another name change as I am about to explain) finally came clean with me. We aren’t best friends, we aren’t going to be best friends, and he isn’t going to try to be best friends. After all of the effort I put into our relationship – romantic or platonic – he isn’t willing to put in any effort at all. He needs “time.” I wasn’t surprised, but it still hurt. The one person who I once thought I would always be able to rely on left me.
Well, after receiving these texts, and knowing that I had off from class Friday thanks to Mr. Nemo, I rushed home to Philadelphia. Since arriving at 12:45am Thursday night/Friday morning, I have yet to leave my house.
In RI, I am missing all sorts of blizzard shenanigans. And yeah, missing shenanigans/being left out always gives me anxiety.
But here, I am just trying to relax and not die. I wouldn’t say I’m “enjoying” my break from all the shit in Rhode Island (because I don’t really “enjoy” much anymore), but I am glad I came home. Even if I don’t see any friends, this was a good choice.
No, I’m not happy. No, I’m not ok. No, I don’t really want to live anymore (haven’t for a while now, so whatever). But I’m better here, for lack of a better term, than in RI. I’m hoping that Winter Storm Nemo continues to smile on me and cancels classes Monday so I don’t have to go back tomorrow, but I doubt I’ll get that lucky. It all depends on when Connecticut and Rhode Island reopens their roadways if I can get back anyway.
I don’t want to go back.
