March 1, 2013

• I have wanted to die many times before. Nearly every day for the last 2 months, in fact. And other scattered times before that.

  Never have I felt just about as hopeless as right now. The reason I am not dead is because somewhere in me I want to see things get better. Somewhere in me lives an optimist. 

  But right now, I see no future. I see nothing. I dont care about seeimg anything. I want to let go but pepple who “care” hang on to me. It hurts. It’s like they have talons in my back, but the only way to get them out is to tear them off like a bee stinger. And I don’t want to hurt them all. So I just keep on hurting.

  I’m glad people love me and care about me. I really am. God I feel so ungrateful and stupid. Which just makes it hurt worse.

  • 11:29 pm
  • 2 Comments