March 30, 2013
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Liar
I’m so fucking done. My “best friend” Joy has apparently been lying to me about the BFX. She keeps telling me that she is on my side but she’s his little so she can’t do anything blahblahblah but when she talks to me she acts like she really is mad at him. But then she spends allllll this time with him. And so what happened was her friend threw a party this weekend and Joy told me that the friend invited the BFX because he was there when they were talking about it. Joy then told me that her roommate, who also was going to the party, reminded the BFX yesterday about the party and Joy told me she was upset because she was hoping he would forget about it because she didn’t want him to go. But our other mutual friend (the one who Joy was bitching about me getting closer to, we’ll call her K) told me tonight that Joy told her on Wednesday when they were hanging out that SHE, not the party host, invited the BFX.
Now, here’s the thing. I know Joy is his little. If she wants to be friends with him and forgive him for what he put me through because of the nature of their relationship, fine. I wouldn’t be thrilled about it, but I’d understand it and accept it and let it go because that’s how it is. But just be fucking honest with me about it. Don’t tell me that you’re on my side and that you have my back when you fucking don’t. Don’t fucking lie to me. I know it seems like such a small deal but she is supposed to be my best fucking friend and she’s lying to me about something so fucking stupid because she needs to have me be happy with her and have the BFX be happy with her at the same time and that really isn’t possible unless she lies to at least one of us. And at the moment I think she’s lying to both of us. And it’s crap and I’m done with it. I’m going to confront her about it tomorrow because I am not dealing with this two-faced bullshit anymore.
Intake for Friday, March 29:
My intake today would have been fine, even though I smoked weed, if I had chosen a better snack and if I hadn’t drank any calories (which I wasn’t supposed to do according to my rules). FUCK. But I’m learning. Posting my intakes is showing me where I’m screwing up and I think I am slowly getting better. Also, my mom has cooked dinner every single night this week. I do much better when I’m in control of all my own meals – not that I don’t appreciate my mom cooking because I do, it just always ends up being a ~500cal meal and that’s way too much for one sitting.
B: none
L: tuna (140), sesame ginger dressing (45), roll (125), mustard (15)
S: chocolate (115)
D: stirfry (250), potato kugel (150), green beans (50), brownie (100)
S: bissli (140), ice cream (90), latte (150)
TOTAL BEFORE SANGRIA = 1370Sangria (230)
TOTAL: 1570
