March 31, 2013
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Officially Done With This Shit
Ok so this morning I finally confronted Joy about everything because she brought up that she drunkenly said something to the BFX about me last night. And here is what happened:
To which I replied: I’m not going to lie, this whole BFX situation is still upsetting me. Like, I totally understand why you need him and why you’re nice to him but he was horrible to me and he is mostly getting away with it. If someone did to you what he did to me, I don’t care if it was my ssister or my best friend that did it i would tear them a new one because its not ok. And it bothers me that he gets away with it because he is your big.
*sidenote* Saying “yea. thats what happened” is like the #1 way to be like “i’m lying to you about what happened.” Does she think I’m fucking stupid??? You give me one account, I say it upsets me, so you just change it. Um no.
Then I said I’ve been upset though and I just didn’t want to say anything so then she said I could say whatever I wanted to say to her. So I said:
I’m just mad, Joy. I’m mad because I feel like my best friend doesn’t have my back. i feel like keeping BFX happy with you these days is more important than our friendship now because he is there and I’m not and it fucking sucks because he is 75% of the reason I left in the first place. Its like you are rewarding him with all this friendship for pushing me away. And I know that isn’t how it is to you on the inside but that is exactly what you are doing on the outside. That’s why it bothers me more now than when I was in RI.
And that was mostly that. We then turned it into putting most of the blame on the BFX and then the conversation ended. She texted me a few hours later like nothing was wrong. But then tonight I got on Facebook and she made her profile picture a picture of her and the BFX from the party Friday night. Like, we JUST had a fucking talk about this. I normally don’t let myself get mad about things that happen on Facebook but seriously? SERIOUSLY?????????
I’m so mad at her right now that even though she texted me upset about fighting with her mom, I am not answering her. I’m not talking to her again until she asks why I’m not talking to her. And then I’m telling her why I’m not talking to her. Because I am fucking done with this shit.
In better news, I did very well today even though I smoked. AND I walked 4 miles! Yay!!!
Intake for Saturday, March 30:
B: 2 egg whites (35), cream cheese (35), matzah (50)
L: banana (100)
S: fancy coffee (90)
D: kugel (250), chocolate matzah (190), bissli (140)
S: kamish bread (175), choc matzah (135)
TOTAL = 1025Out: 4 mile walk (-300)
Net: 725
