April 15, 2013
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My Life is Crazy
So a few things have happened in the last few days.
First, I’ve made the decision to scrap my degree in education and pursue a degree in optometry. Take over my dad’s office someday blahblahblah. So that changes a lot of things about my life. Mostly that I’ll be out of school until Fall 2014, assuming that I even get in. If I don’t, then my life is just going to get even more messy and complicated. So that’s that.
Second, my date with the waiter on Saturday night. As I’m leaving my house to go to the bar my Israeli friend decides to start talking about how he’s upset that I’m getting more of a social life (he didn’t even know I had a date. He just knew that I had plans besides sitting at home alone on my computer) because I won’t have time to talk to him anymore. And it made me feel really bad but I was trying to reassure him that that wouldn’t happen. It really cemented for me that, despite the fact that we are a 13 hour plane ride apart, there is something going on there. And, of course, this is happening RIGHT BEFORE MY DATE. So that was the first interesting thing that happened. The second interesting thing that happened was that my date was uber mega late. Like… 2 and a half hours late. And it was his work’s fault, not his, but still. So while I’m sitting there waiting for 2 and a half hours (and still talking to my Israeli friend and a few other friends via text), another dude buys me a beer and asks for my number. So I said why the hell not and gave it to him. (Since then I’ve been kind of procrastinating giving him either a yes or a no as to going out on a date). Then he left and I waiting again until FINALLY my date shows up. And at this point I’m a little tipsy and he gets me more tipsy and he was a really nice guy and we had a lot in common but I’m just not 100% sure if I can see myself developing feelings for him… I see it going more in a friend direction. But, because alcohol was part of the equation, I still let him kiss me at the end of the night. I shouldn’t have, but I did. (Not the best kisser). So he invited me out to karaoke for Sunday night and I said yes but then I backed out. Thank goodness, because he ended up texting me telling me that he would have been 2 hours late again. So yeah. And again, the other dude is still texting me too trying to get me to go on a date with him. It’s all weird considering right now the most feelings I have are geared towards someone halfway across the world. I’m just confused as to what I should do from here. Most girls would think this is a good situation and for me it’s just a stressful mess. Fuck anxiety.
So then yesterday, again, I bailed on karaoke and then bailed on a bbq with some friends and went to my friend’s house and got drunk and after I got home (still drunk), Joy starts with her fucking shit again. Yesterday was elections for our fraternity and she didn’t win anything. She is a brand new member. She literally just became a brother a month ago. She can’t seriously be that upset about it. But she was! And then the BFX won president so on top of being wayyyy too upset for herself she also was like “omg my big is the bestest big ever and he won president” and I’m sitting here thinking HE IS NOT THE BESTEST BIG EVER. HE DIDN’T GET YOU THROUGH YOUR PLEDGE PROCESS. I DID. HE DIDN’T EVEN START ACTING LIKE YOUR BIG UNTIL I LEFT RI. SO FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT. It’s just so frustrating!!! I do everything for her and he gets credit. He wasn’t the one calming her down last night. He isn’t the one who reads her triggering, overdramatic private Tumblr crap and still just sucks it up and deals with it to help her. He isn’t the one who went out of his way to figure out who to contact to make sure her stalker ex-boyfriend can’t contact her anymore. But HE is the bestest. Uh huh. ALL HE DOES IS FUCKING GET HER DRUNK ON THE WEEKENDS. SERIOUSLY. THAT IS THEIR FRIENDSHIP. It infuriates me!!! Just typing this now is making me angry all over again so I’m going to stop.
Intake stuff:
Intake from Saturday, April 13:
B: chobani (140)
L: protein bar (130)
D: pesto mozzarella panini (300), chips (60), angel food cake (130)
Drinks (460)
TOTAL = 1220
Intake from Sunady, April 14:
B: none
L: grilled cheese (180)
S: popcorn (110), chai (75)
D: shrimp burger (130), sweet potato fries (130), salad (50)
S: fruit salad (50), cookies (150)
Drunkness: gin (300), sandwich (117), frosted flakes (110)
TOTAL = 1402
Intake from Monday, April 15:
B: protein bar (130)
L: thai noodles (270)
S: granola bar (110)
D: tuna melt (245), chai (30)
High snacks(790)
TOTAL = 1625Out: 1 mile run (-125)
Net: 1500
