April 27, 2013
-
Good Mood Gone. Rant.
I was going to post today about my philosophy on “everything happens for a reason.” Because sometimes I agree and sometimes I disagree and I’ve disagreed for a while now but now I’m starting to possibly agree again so I was going to go into all of that. And then I was possibly going to talk about my Israeli friend a little bit because I’m still kinda confused by that whole situation and my thoughts about it high and my thoughts about it sober are not the same thoughts.
BUT now I am so angry that I can’t even think about anything else. Joy. I can’t even deal with her anymore. She told me she was trying to not be as close with the BFX. She told me that she doesn’t like the immaturity of her new friends group. She told me that she doesn’t initiate stuff with the BFX anymore because he was super shitty to me for a super long time and he pretty much destroyed my life and as my best friend she should respect that. BUT once again SHE FUCKING LIED. She is fucking participating in their immature pranks (which she can’t stand when they are directed at her) and SHE is directing that immaturity at, surprise surprise, the BFX. Meaning she is initiating shit with him. Like, ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING LYING ALREADY. And how dare she call herself my best friend. Seriously. She doesn’t know shit about my life anymore. She doesn’t know how I’ve been unless she’s reading my personal Tumblr (which I have a counter on and I know no one has looked at in 2 days). I don’t think she even knows that I’ve changed career paths again. She never asks me how I am, she hasn’t asked how switching to full time is going. She only ever texts me when she’s stressed/anxious/gonna throw up/shaking/crying. Or now, when she’s drunk. I’m just so over it and so, so done. It just makes me so fucking angry at this point. Irrationally angry, really, because I knew to expect this from her. She’s a selfish lying little shit. AHHHHHH I wish I had someone IRL to vent to right now but my friend that I was talking to just stopped answering. I’m assuming she fell asleep. So blah.
Just fuck everything. I’ve been nothing but stressed for the last few days and lo and behold when I finally start feeling sort of ok about things again SHE FUCKING PULLS THIS FUCKING SHIT. It’s just proof that she doesn’t actually give a shit about me, she only gives a shit about looking like she gives a shit about me. Even though the drunk texts I’m getting say “I wshy you ewre hur causr yo da bewst” and “yo da fuckin bestttt” (sic). Well if you really think I’m the best, then START FUCKING ACTING LIKE IT ALL THE TIME AND NOT JUST WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO ME. She’s so goddamn two-faced.
Intake stuff:
Intake for Thursday, April 26:
B: chobani (140)
L: salad with tuna (160), caramel hershey’s kisses (85)
D: broccoli salad (50), rice (75), salmon (200), cookie (150)
High snacks: (580)
TOTAL = 1440
Out: 20 minutes on elliptical (-200)
Net: 1240Intake for Friday, April 27:
B: banana (100)
S: protein bar (180)
L: salad (140), cookies(100)
Snack because I was super shaky at work (150)
D: (my mom made a huge dinner) flounder (250), potatoes (60), salad (60), strawberries (50)
TOTAL = 1090
Out: 2 mile run (-245)
Net: 845
