April 28, 2013
-
First, a quick side note: Joy’s private Tumblr has a post saying “Why is it that anybody that matters to me just ends up hating me?” Well honey, I can answer that question. It’s because YOU DON’T ACT LIKE WE MATTER TO YOU UNLESS WE ARE PHYSICALLY IN FRONT OF YOU. And then you lie. You are a selfish little attention seeker and that attention is more important to you than your “best friends.” THAT is why people who matter to you end up hating you. Because you don’t actually care about us as much as you think you do. You only care about yourself that much. You think you’re so goddamn selfless but you really aren’t. And sometimes it’s ok to be selfish. Sometimes you need to do things for you. BUT NOT LIKE THIS. You are hurting me more than you would be hurt if you didn’t do what you’re doing. Open your fucking eyes. I’ve called you out and screamed at you for what you’ve done wrong and YOU STILL HAVEN’T CHANGED A GODDAMN THING ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS you just stopped talking to me about it. Which doesn’t make it better.
Ok, now to the point: Yesterday I ended up having wayyyy more calories than I wanted to/should have, but it still wasn’t awful. I just keep trying to remind myself that I’m still generally eating under what is considered a healthy weightloss amount even though to me it seems like a lot. I can feel my mentality shifting. Just a few weeks ago I was telling myself 1300 was a good amount. Now I’m telling myself that it’s way too much. This is what happens when I shift from a period of binging to a period of starving. Is it bad that I’m happy that I’m getting my starving mentality back? I just want to lose the weight.
But at least the reason that I had too many calories was, in part, because I went out to Dave and Buster’s with my best friend and we had a BLAST. The only thing is that we both look like we are under 18 (even though I’m 22 and she is 18) and she forgot to bring ID (she doesn’t have her drivers license) so I bought beer just to keep the staff from getting suspicious since there are no minors allowed after 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays. But it was a great time. I’m so glad we ended up doing that.
Anyway, intake stuff for Saturday, April 27:
B: 2 eggwhites and tofurkey (70)
L: protein bar (180), hershey’s kiss (20)
S: popcorn (110)
D: 1/2 tuna melt (500), soup (100)
S: mocha light frap (130), beer (215)
TOTAL = 1325
Comments (2)
haha sooo often i wonder if people realize how horrible of people they are, and THAT is why their lives fall apart around them. like, gee maybe try being a decent human being and stop being a piece of shit and your life will stop being fucked up? i hate girls like joy. hate them.
@kuro_knives - She just thinks she’s this great person and she isn’t. She thinks she is trying so hard to be a good friend to me and she isn’t. And I’d understand her continuing to act this way if no one ever said anything to her because then how could she know? But I have confronted her – multiple times – about how shitty of a friend she is being, and she agreed that she fucked up and apologized, but then nothing changed. And then she wonders why people stop liking her. Ugh.