May 9, 2013
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Inner Strength (or lack thereof)
I don’t know why people think I’m strong.
I couldn’t cope with my life – one that is not all that bad except for some severe bullying growing up – so I cut and I binged and I starved and I became so anxious and depressed that I don’t know how I’m still functioning at 22. I’m a total mess.
This isn’t the life of a strong person. This is the life of an incredibly weak person. I let myself pity me and in doing so I have become this mess of problems and baggage and unhealthy coping mechanisms. A strong person comes out of difficult experiences as a better person. A strong person gets through difficult experiences and then keeps walking. I am not a better person and I am not walking. I am barely crawling. That isn’t strong.
I’m not strong. I wish people would stop telling me that I am.
Comments (2)
To me, a strong person is someone who is still breathing. The fact that you hesitate to act on your suicidal impulses because you think of how it’d impact those around you, shows me that you’re stronger than you believe you are. As long as you’re still alive and fighting to be in a better place, I’d say that you’re pretty fucking strong.
@ToMarilyn - Thanks <3