May 27, 2013
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More of the Same
You all must be getting tired of me. All I do is complain. And I’m about to do more of it. And it isn’t even like I have anything new to complain about.
I just feel so alone. All the time. It’s awful. My few friends don’t seem to care, or care to understand, and leave me alone. In the last three weeks the only people I’ve seen are my family, my coworkers, and my one friend that’s still in high school. That’s it. I do nothing with my weekends. I’m 22. I’m supposed to be out having a good time, living it up. But no one cares to invite me anywhere. I’m nothing but a second thought. Not to M, or my “big brother,” or any of the people I left behind in RI (not including Joy, but you all know that’s a totally different story). Not to my Israeli friend. I’m just someone to talk to while he’s at work or when he needs someone to bounce ideas off of. I don’t know why I keep thinking there’s anything more there. There isn’t. He didn’t even care when I said I was having a weird day today. Just blew right over it. And the BFX… he makes me feel like I should be grateful he even speaks to me but I really need my best friend back. I do. I’m so lost. But clearly I can’t talk to him about anything more deep than fish tanks because I promised that there would be no more discussions.
I’m just so done. I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine carrying on my life this way. I really can’t. I can’t do this for a whole year until I start school and maybe meet some new people. I feel so utterly and completely alone. It’s awful. I’ve never felt this alone before.
And the more I whine about it, the more alone I’m going to become. Ugh.
Comments (2)
I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling, literally I’m feeling this right now, so weird that I would read this randomly when I’m in the same mood. All of my friends just ignore me like i’m fine. In this moment right now, my best friend is my neighbor downstairs, all of my friends spontaneously threw a party and I’m sitting upstairs listening to it, but were kind of in an argument so he’s not talking to me, and i was never invited. like nothing makes you feel more alone than being the ONLY one left out! Even though I don’t know you, there are obviously people out there that understand what you’re going through. Stay strong, you’ll make it through.
@SimpleKay228 – I’m sorry you’re going through that :-/ and thanks for the support! And know it works the other way around, too