August 5, 2013
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I’m surprised that Xanga is still here.
I’m surprised I’m still here.
I’m not sure how much longer either of us will be here.
Alaska had its moments, but really I’m worse off now than I was when I left. So. I really just don’t know. I don’t know how I’m going to keep pushing ahead. I don’t think I can. And more importantly, I don’t think I want to.
Comments (4)
You and I both know how strong you are, how strong you’ve been. Hang in there! I know my words of encouragement suck if you feel helpless already, but please know that I need you here. Your family needs you, your friends, the people who look up to you. You impact everyone you meet, so stay for them. And for the future. Think of everyone you’ll inspire by living past this, and all the people you’ll help along the way. You obviously have a big heart, you need to take full advantage of it. I know you can get through this. You may not feel that way, but I have always been able to feel your intrinsic ambition. It’s clouded right now by depression and anxiety, but it’s not lost. Stay here a little longer, at least until you can see a little bit of your old self again. Depression is not you, it is an illness that is masking the real you. Don’t let it define your decisions and future. You will get through this. I know you’ve already fought for so long, but go a little longer. Please. I do need you here. Who else will cheer me up and give me advice when I freak out? Who else will inspire me to work harder to lose weight and chase my goals? Who else will be able to show me that she can live past her crippling depression and start fresh?
@ToMarilyn – You are the best. Seriously. I do not know what I would do without you. Thank you. This comment isn’t going to make me better, but you knew that. But its something; it helps, even if only for a little while. So thank you.
@skinnydragon12 - Any time, love. Sometimes I wish we didn’t live so far apart.
@ToMarilyn - It is a bummer. And I have zero plans to go back to RI anytime soon. My LiveJournal explains it… I don’t feel like going through it again here.