July 13, 2013
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14 days til Alaska
Xanga seems to be dying. I haven’t had any updates in my subs for a few days and no one is leaving footprints, either (and I have log in lock on and no anonymous browsing so everyone leaves footprints). What’s the point of them extending the deadline if everyone disappeared already?
I haven’t been doing much better. I hit a new LW for this weightloss cycle Thursday, but then I ate a ton that same day and yesterday I did ok but not great so I’ll probably be up again when I weigh in officially tomorrow. And I’m still stressed and depressed. My pleco died after I worked my ass off to save him – got killed by a tank heater that boiled him to death. I feel like its all my fault. And the goldfish is dying/might be dead as we speak because, with everything else going on, I forgot to feed him and I haven’t been doing water changes and that is the only tank not in my bedroom so I just forgot about him. I’m awful. I’m really, really awful. I can’t even keep my fish alive and that is my fucking hobby.
Still paranoid and upset about the Tumblr issue. The BFX is being weird. He’s on a trip right now for a research opportunity through our university so maybe he’s just distracted, but he’s apparently being an ass to Joy and he’s being kind of nice – but very very succinct – to me. Joy and K think I should stop talking to him. And I probably should have stopped talking to him months ago. It isn’t like he ever messages me first. Or does anything else to show he gives a damn. But I just can’t let it go for some stupid fucking reason.
I’m finally getting back to the gym today after work. I’ve been running, but I don’t think I’ve been to the gym in almost 2 weeks. Not looking forward to it, but at least it should help with all the fucking food I ate.
Sorry for all the swearing, I’m just really unhappy.
Oh, also, my ex D (who I broke up with 3 years ago) has started talking to me again. I never want to get back into that relationship – I was more like D’s mother than his girlfriend and he relied on me for literally everything and it was just bad bad bad. We fought a lot. But its nice to have someone interested in my life and how things have been. Not like I told him much, but he knows I’m unhappy so *shrug*
I should probably go get ready for work, since I have to leave in 20 minutes and I’m still in my PJs.
